A few months ago Jen got a call from one of her oldest friends, Alex, who she’s known since she was 14 and has always considered a brother. Alex lives in Seattle with his sweetie Jordan and, on that phone call, encouraged us to come up for a visit on our next long weekend.

So we took yesterday off work, because we define “personal necessity” nowadays as prioritizing family and human connections, and flew up here for a reunion visit to the Emerald City.

And after our summer roadtrips to hot desert places, being somewhere so green, driving though neighborhoods lined with enormous trees, is a welcome change of environment.

We started with a preflight cocktail and Jen gave me some background on her friendship with Alex.

They met in freshman gym class and connected over differences in opinion. They notoriously counter each other from different viewpoints and experiences. Where Alex believed all people were assholes, Jen always wanted to believe the best in everybody. Their conversations have always been woven with insight, philosophy, and strong opinions. Their love and respect for each other is deep and layered in a way that surpasses time and space. As life has taken them on their respective paths, they have always found each other with an ease of familiarity and history that many of us may only find once or twice in a lifetime.

I have heard stories of Alex for as long as I have known Jen, so this trip feels a little like meeting a celebrity, someone so cherished and close to her heart who, until this weekend, has only lived in stories, old photos, and my imagination. It is such a special gift to meet the people who have history and legacy with someone you love.

Jen and I have often wondered if we’d have liked each other at different points in our life. Lately, we’ve been breaking out old home videos and speculating that it woulda been nearly impossible for us not to recognize our same brand of weirdness when we were younger.

I love little Jen’s blaze-ahead “I do what I want” vibe, and I love teenage Jen’s contemplative energy and the emerging balance of wit, sarcasm, and optimism I fell in love with when I met her later in life.

It’s fun to see parts of younger Jen peek out this weekend in retold memories and familiar company. It makes me realize just how many layers we have and how my love for her gets stronger with every layer I meet.

When we got off the plane and headed to the facilities, I swooned a little bit at Seattle signage.

Since I cut my hair shorter, I’ve had some hesitation entering public women’s bathrooms, the strange looks I got in Utah truck stops and Vegas casinos didn’t help. When we were waiting to board the plane in San Diego, I’d asked Jen if she’d accompany me to the bathroom, to vouch for my womanhood just in case someone questioned it. But here was Seattle with this sign…and a bank of single-use facilities.

I heard a lady say “This is weird and confusing” as she waited for a stall, but it just seemed like an upgraded line for port-a-potties at a festival. Whats so weird and confusing? We’re all here for the same reason…why does it matter who’s in the toilet next to you if they’re not peeking under the stall? We can certainly all wash our hands in the same sink without taking offense, right?

Alex and Jordan thoughtfully took us first to Seattle’s gayborhood, Capitol Hill, with its rainbow crosswalks and funky shops and more amazingly inclusive signage.

As law enforcement officers, Alex and Jordan seemed alert and cautious, reminding us that this was the place that made national headlines as CHOP in 2020 with a weeks-long series of clashes between Black Lives Matter demonstrators and law enforcement, which forced the police to abandon the nearby precinct while tensions were high.

Even though I’d just met them, it was palpable walking through these streets with off-duty police officers who seemed to still carry very vivid memories of this place during a time of complex chaos and tumult.

I couldn’t help but consider the trauma experienced on both sides: protesters using their voices and physical bodies to stand up for justice in a way that felt right for them, and officers using their voices and physical bodies to reestablish order and civility.

On both sides there were sons and daughters, husbands,wives, friends, loved ones, everyone involved was special to someone, and they were all trying to find their way through a mess to reach an understanding that there is more connecting us than dividing us.

We went to a fabulous bar called The Unicorn and we swapped first date and engagement stories over the most delicious corn dogs I’ve ever had in my life.

In the bathroom, another affirmation that Seattle has great signage.

And then we went to Seward Park, a forested peninsula on Lake Washington. We talked and walked the loop, picked wild blackberries, and Jordan stopped us at a place she calls “Mermaid Beach” where we picked up “wish rocks” to throw into the lake. We heard frogs and saw turtles, it was a bright sunny day, so locals were swimming and hanging out on boats and beaches and we got a vibe of this place from our insider friends.

After our walk, we drove over to West Seattle for some great views of the city skyline, the Olympic mountains and a googley-eyed bush.

We went to a place called The Bridge for dinner, which holds some early dating memories for Alex and Jordan. It’s really amazing getting to know a new place through the eyes and hearts of friends who are locals. They cautioned us away from the Mac and cheese, so we shared cheese curds and a Gouda burger, which was delicious. Can’t lie, if we find our way back there, I’d get the grilled cheese and tomato soup with a “Painkiller” from the slushie machine, like Alex and Jordan recommended.

We got a road tour and talked family updates on our drive south to their house, with the promise of an incredible view from the base of Mount Rainier when we wake up.