Well, this morning as we were getting ready for work and school, I’m picking out clothes for the morning and the kiddo calls to Jen in a kind of rushed tone, “Mom, come here, come here for a sec.”

Now, living with a 13 year old boy, I’ve learned a summons can mean many things…ranging anywhere between an actual emergency to times when he just can’t find his socks. So, Jen goes to his room to find out what’s up and then I hear her say, “Oh shit. What is that?”

And I’m still getting dressed and calling from behind the closed door “Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

And nobody’s answering and the big dog is barking out in the yard and so I did a thing I don’t usually do: I hurried up a little.

And I walk out back and see a huge plume of black smoke coming from what looks like the neighbors house across the street…I open the back gate and it looks like it’s coming from just two houses down and I see Jen and the kiddo standing in the street with a bunch of other neighbors watching the smoke.

I head over and I can see it’s not actually a house on our street, but a house just down the hill, but I could hear things popping and snapping and breaking inside the building and the smoke was getting bigger and blacker and the flames started coming out from all sides.

We live on the street just behind this house, by that crooked tree at the top. The guy on our street who’s house was closest to the flames was out on the side of his yard with a garden hose while his wife strapped their kiddo into the minivan and was searching frantically for their cat.

I looked around our gathered group, none of us were filming with our phones, a few were calling emergency services, the rest of us were quietly holding our breath. We have a real trauma thing about fires in California…fires and earthquakes.

Someone said “Look at the embers flying” and Jen took off to go hose our roof. I stood in the street with the kiddo wondering what else there was to do besides watch and wait.

We heard sirens, like millions of them. And I just kept hoping everything would turn out okay. I hoped the fire could be contained quickly and without hurting anyone or damaging anyone else’s house.

Turns out this house has a bit of a reputation for being a drug house, a place where people squat, a place the bank was trying to take from the owner…a lot of gossip and stories about people calling and making reports for years with their concerns.

Then a real life firetruck came up the hill and we got to see them put the hose on and then connect to the fire hydrant.

And there are a few things I got out of the fire experience this morning that I want to write down.

First, we have a friend and neighbor who is super brave and handy and wise and brilliant…and he marched right down the street into the yard with flames lapping at the house in front of him, and we could see him on the phone, and he didn’t relent, he didn’t back away, he stayed right up next to the whole thing until the firetruck came.

And I realized I really admire his courage and want to be brave like that. I want to know what to do when nobody else knows what to do. He told us that he didn’t accept No for an answer when they said our street is tricky for firetrucks and gave the 911 operator an earful about getting a truck up on our street to tackle the flames from above and save our homes. And I thought, there are certain times we have to push past what we’re being told and do what we know is the right thing.

The other thing I realized is that I was wholly dumbfounded in a crisis and just stood there like a lump. I want to understand what that’s all about and how I can get past it. I mean, I’m not qualified to go fight the flames or anything but I have been reflecting on whether there was anything more I could have done to be useful, rather than just standing around wondering what was even happening. I was proud of Jen for going to spray our roof, she is an action person. I want to be an action person.

Also, I realized that we need a “Go Bag” in our house. We’ve talked about it before, but I think today was a good reminder of planning just in case, having something to grab with essentials if we had to leave in a hurry…and maybe also a fire safe for all the important stuff. The kiddo said he’d just wanna load up the dogs and go…he might thank us if he also had a clean pair of socks and a change of clothes.

And finally, it was kinda cool when the smoke started dying down and turning white that the kiddo put his arm around me and said, “You gotta write a blog about this.” I don’t quite know how to put it in words, but something about that brought tears to my eyes.

It was a crazy way to start the morning, definitely a place to pause and reflect: how it could’ve been worse, what’s really important in this life, and gratitude for every precious moment I have with people I love.