I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather this week after the busy (and wonderful) holiday, so I took yesterday off work in the name of rest and recovery.

I still woke up at 5:30, made a pot of cinnamon coffee, and was sleepy, watching the outside world slowly light up with sunshine from under a blanket when my phone started buzzing from across the room around 8am.

Worried it might be an emergency, I got up to check and was surprised to find a handful of congratulatory messages from friends and colleagues who were, at that very moment, sitting in the monthly staff meeting I was missing being home. They sent me a photo of the meeting slideshow: Our students chose me for the December “Golden Egg”, an honor at our school very similar to “Employee of the Month.”

Of course, my first reaction was “Omg! That’s the sweetest thing.”

And then a little sadness that I missed the meeting.

And then, a little laugh, of course the ONE meeting I miss (and secretly hoped nobody would notice), that’s when I show up on the work jumbotron…my instant karma is still going strong.

And then, overwhelming gratitude.

How cool is it to feel seen in the world for just a moment?

How beautiful is unexpected recognition for something seemingly unacknowledged that we do every day?

When I was processing through myriad emotions after my cousin passed away a few months ago, I spent some time reflecting on my own legacy…What energy do I want to put out into the world? What parts of me do I share enough for anyone to remember me at all?

There’s been a few times I’ve left after school this year wondering if I’m even capable of making a difference for my students anymore. Sometimes I wonder if they’re listening to anything I say, there’s a couple of them I can’t tell if they even know my name or what class they’re in.

And then that hair straightener incident before the break had me walking to my car with my head down, my heart heavy in bleak discouragement.

Teenagers, god bless ’em, sometimes they approach the whole world in defense, no matter who you are, convinced all authority figures are antagonists, that life is unfair and policies are unjust…and sometimes they’ll fight you, even on their best days, just for sport. And sometimes it takes every ounce of strength I have to stay centered to avoid being pulled into emotional tornados around me. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that I’m not supposed to take any of it personally.

This work can be really challenging sometimes…and, on any given day, I never really know how to gauge whether I’m doing it well or failing miserably…sometimes its hard to tell the difference. I remind myself I can only control how I show up in the world for myself, for my loved ones, and for my students, with consistency, perspective, and in consideration of the bigger picture.

So, maybe that’s why it was the words my students chose that had the deepest impact on my heart yesterday.

Maybe it’s a little hug from the universe…a reminder I’m still on the right path doing the right thing, even if sometimes the feedback is quiet.

I sat with my eyes closed for several minutes to breathe in the really beautiful feeling of it: KINDNESS, POSITIVITY, HUMOR, SMILING.

Every one of those is a word I’d hope someone might associate with me as a human.

What a wonderful compliment to be seen and experienced by anyone in that light.