ROMEO: Lady, by yonder blessèd moon I vow,
 That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops—

JULIET: O, swear not by the moon, th’ inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circled orb,
 Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.

There’s this part of the famous “balcony scene” where Romeo is trying to get in Juliet’s pants and she interrupts him…if you want the goods, bro, don’t swear by the shifty-ass moon, I’m looking for stability.

I love that line, I love that scene, I freakin love Shakespeare. For context, in the play, Juliet is 13, from a prominent family, and also living in a time when her chastity is connected to her virtue. And, even if she’d been a little older, it’s pretty clear she was programmed with enough fear and self-respect to remind a milk-thirsty guy that if he wants a taste, he’s gotta buy the cow first.

I get it, Juliet’s not trying to give her heart to someone who’s gonna profess his love in one moment and then retract it the next. Most of us at some point learn the risks of signing up too seriously with someone who is perpetually inconsistent. It’s totally human to want to invest in things and people that feel dependable. I feel you, sis.

Like Juliet, the kiddo is also 13, almost 14 now…going on 65. He’s wise far-beyond his years and made a beautiful speech during our hand-fasting ceremony a few weeks ago, with just one very simple request for Jen and I starting our new chapter together: Keep it spicy.

Even though that sentiment–on the surface–might seem to have more teenage boy “Romeo” energy behind it, Keep it spicy is actually one of the best pieces of relationship advice I’ve ever received.

Keep things charged up.

Keep moving around in it together.

Be grateful for each other.

Stay beautiful with each other.

Don’t be tempted into complacency.

It’s so easy, even outside of romantic relationships, to take things and people for granted once we get used to them. We can reach a point where even things that really matter in our hearts start to feel so stable and predictable, that we can actually drift into boredom, disregard, even neglect. We start finding imperfections in things that were once perfect to us just as they were: a pain-in-the ass job, a shitty old car, an outdated home, a tired, comfortable relationship…at one point, we may have wanted these so badly, they sparkled all those years ago, and we downgrade them into complaints and dissatisfaction.

The only way to avoid feeling stale about a thing is to keep changing it up a little…finding the art in it, following the callings of your heart, and never ever ever settling into only one way of doing things. Spice it up.

With all due respect for Juliet’s virtue and Shakespeare’s writing, I actually really like the idea of swearing by the moon. It feels honest. And even though it looks different every night from Earth, the moon is actually pretty dependable. It’s physical shape and size remain the exact same sitting up there in the sky, just being present, whether we can see it or not. It’s the lighting and angles that change our perception of it every night.

There’s something really cool about adopting an open perspective, that there is no one way to see or do a thing. It’s an acceptance that all things, including us, change a little bit each day. Tides roll in and out, rivers swell, forests grow after being cleared by wildfires, even an enormous oak tree with deep roots is growing and shifting with time and its environment. Another year, another ring, a few new branches, drop the leaves, get some new leaves…that’s the way nature works.

God knows I’ve learned a little something in this life about trying to hold on to anything tightly, whether it’s a belief, a person, or a thing in the world, as if I have any control over the natural state of anything. I can’t hold a river back to keep the current and temperature the same as I’ve always known it to be. It’s like yelling, “I don’t trust you! You look different to me all the time!” at the moon…it’s nature is to just be up there in its own space, and every day things might seem a little different than they did the day before.

And so here I am down here on Earth doing what I do in my own space…and every day I’m gonna be just a little different than I was yesterday…and that makes me feel like me and the moon are made of the same stuff.

The moon was showing off all big and bold this weekend. In December, the full moon is called “The Long Night Moon” because it happens right before the winter solstice. It’s a little glimmer of hope that, as the moon starts waning again this week, our days will start waxing with light and longevity before we know it.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m astrologically Cancerian or because my grandma used to tell me I’m from space, but I just love the moon. I always say a little “Hello and Thank You” whenever I catch her peeking down at me like a protective guardian who’s always the same and yet never really looks the same as the last time she caught my eye.

And when someone says,”Wow, look at that moon”, I feel like that might be one of the most captivating and inclusive moments to share with the world…a little reminder that we’re all connected under the same sky, looking up at the same moon. No matter how twisty, mysterious, crunchy, or unsatisfying the ground might feel under our feet, that big ol’ moon has the power to cut through the darkness, make the water sparkle, turn the leaves into silvery dancers, and light up the path ahead as we walk…unless its that time of the month when she’s taking her spicy little nap. ;-)